The Aftermath !

So what is the aftermath that a narcissist leaves? Do you ever recover?

Personally I feel that if you had a strong positive personality before the Narcissist then I think you can recover but if you had low self-esteem already, or suffered from any form of depression it might take you longer if ever to fully recover from a Narcissist.

I am no expert, I am merely speaking from my experience and how I felt. I was a very strong, confident person before I met mine and then I changed into a meek and mild, emotional wreck. I however managed to get back to the person I was but not without the help of therapy and lots of soul-searching. I spent days in depression and in tears. Hating myself for allowing these things to happen. It was not an easy journey. I had to learn to forgive myself because I wasn’t angry with him. I was angry with myself for not seeing the signs or rather for not wanting to see the signs. For not wanting to accept that we were not meant to be and we will never be meant to be and that on some level I had an obsession with him to. I wanted it all to be perfect. I wanted to force him to love me like I loved him. I had to accept that I will always be the one that loves more.

So all in all the aftermath of a Narcissist is a lot of hurt, pain and disbelief. Sometimes one can end up so depressed that you feel you don’t want to exist without him, but I urge you if this is how you feel then seek professional help. The feelings you are having is normal after such a destructive relationship but don’t let it rule your life. Unpack the boxes of what you are feeling with someone preferably. Then deal with it in the best way that you can and put it behind you and move forward.

Don’t go back, don’t think if a narcissists contacts you again saying they sorry or they want you it’s because they miss you. They don’t miss you, they miss the idea of you. They miss controlling someone, they miss feeling powerful! If they cared that would not have treated you in the way that they did.

So yes there is an aftermath and it causes devastation but you can recover from it. 100% probably not but enough to open yourself up to love again. Enough to trust completely probably not but enough to trust that you will one day be able to trust 100% again! Will you be more careful with the next person you meet, for sure. You will think twice about committing or moving in together. You will be suspicious for a while and you will be sitting waiting for the other shoe to drop but when it doesn’t you will feel relieved and learn to be happy again and to trust again!

Don’t let the aftermath of a Narcissist destroy the possibility of meeting someone who could just show you that there is still good in this world but do take your time in finding that person. Give yourself time to heal !

I will end this blog with a comment I made to my friends in my time of recovery, hope it gives you the inspiration you need in your dark hour:

“I have learned that you need to be careful who you trust with your heart. I have learned how to ask for help from others when I could no longer help myself. I have learned humility and I have learned that even if life is the worst it has ever been that I am stronger now than I will ever be. The worst is over and the best is yet to come. I have also learned that you can live with someone for a long time but not know who they really are until you leave. I have also learned that when we truly, truly love someone we close our eyes to the bad times and bad things cause we simply don’t want to believe that its true. This morning I woke up with a lot of sorrow in my heart but tonight I am going to go to sleep with joy at the new things I will be experiencing from here on. I will always be the person who loves more and gives more it is who I am and I thought for a short period it’s not who I want to be anymore but I have accepted I cannot change myself. I just need to be a lot more careful who gets to see that part of me. I have also learned that I am loved by many that sometimes I forget to tell that I love back. Tomorrow is a new dawn and a new day! Let the sun shine in!”

 

 

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